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     <p align=left><font face=arial><big><b>CurzTech Laboratories</b></big>
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       <small><a href="hiccups.shtml">CurzTech Hiccup Solution&reg;</a>&nbsp;|&nbsp;<a href="curzhts.shtml">CurzTech Human Tracking System&reg;</a>&nbsp;|&nbsp;<a href="curzets.shtml">CurzTech Employee Tracking System&reg;</a>&nbsp;|&nbsp;<a href="curztdts.shtml">CurzTech Teenage Daughter Tracking System&reg;</a>&nbsp;|&nbsp;<a href="curzrchwts.shtml">CurzTech Rotten Cheating Husband/Wife Tracking System&reg;</a>&nbsp;|&nbsp;<a href="curzfish.shtml">CurzFish&reg;</a>&nbsp;|&nbsp;<a href="curzcat.shtml">CurzCat&reg;</a></small>
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       <td colspan=2>CurzTech Laboratories are the leading inovators of testing and approving new products (and old ones we buy cheaply from competitors using outdated monopoly laws, which we then sell as our own at higher prices) for sale by subsidiaries of CurzTech International.  The following are some of the products tested and verified by CurzTech Laboratories:</td>
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          <td>Take a look at the CurzTech LAN Tester Model <a href="NS4269plus.shtml">NS4269+</a>, newly approved by both CurzTech Laboratories and the GF.  Please remember, this product is manufactured by CurzTech Manufacturing, and CurzTech Laboratories assums no responsibility for its performance.  Even though we said it's CTL approved.  Despite the fact that it's made by one of our sister companies.  And the fact that we recieved a large "budget" increase upon taking this job.<hr></td>
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           The following items have been pulled for further testing, and are no longer available to the general public for &szlig;eta testing:
           <li>GuardFish&reg;<br>
           <li>RoboFish&reg;<br>
           <li>FishThatJustSitsThereAndDoesNothing&reg;<br>
           You can view details on them by clicking <a href="curzfish.shtml">here</a> to visit the CurzTech Laboratories FISH Project Page.  This is a collaboration with the people (actually, by now most of them should be considered cyborgs) at <a href="../industries/curzbiores.shtml">CurzTech BioResearch</a>, a subsidiary of <a href="../industries/curzpharm.shtml">CurzTech Pharmeceuticals</a>, a division of <a href="../">CurzTech International<hr></a>.
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           <td>CurzTech Laboratories Medical Research Lab is pleased to announce a revolutionary treatment for hiccups.  Using the <a href="hiccups.shtml">CurzTech Hiccup Management System</a>, a proprietary new treatement, you're guaranteed<sup><small><small><small>*</small></small></small></sup> the ability to control your hiccups, or your money back!<hr></td>
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           <td>Now CurzTech Laboratories has made a new development in advanced brain research.  Click <a href="curzsmartcat.shtml">here</a> to find more about our genetically engineered "SmartCat&copy;".<hr></td>
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           <td>Also, the entire Weasel Project has been suspended temporarily pending investigation into whether or not China stole secrets from us.  Anyone with information about this should <a href="mailto:chinagotusgood@curztech.com">contact</a> us immediately.<hr></td>
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           <td>CurzTech Laboratories is the number one source for validating products, services, and other intangibles.  We lead the market by promising that no matter how crappy it is, we'll approve it for you as long as the "laboratory fee" is right.  Remember, if you have a faulty O-ring, a bad metal "Krusty-O", or a batch or milk you want approved, we're the ones to do the job!<hr></td>
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