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     <p align=left><font face=arial><big><b>CurzTech News Network</b></big>
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      <small><a href="http://curztech.com/news/">CurzTech&nbsp;News&nbsp;Network</a> |&nbsp;<a href="http://curztech.com/news/worldnews.shtml">CurzTech&nbsp;World&nbsp;News</a> |&nbsp;<a href="http://curztech.com/news/usnews.shtml">CurzTech&nbsp;U.S.&nbsp;News</a> |&nbsp;<a href="http://curztech.com/news/entertainment.shtml">CurzTech&nbsp;Entertainment&nbsp;News</a> |&nbsp;<a href="http://curztech.com/news/politics.shtml">CurzTech&nbsp;Political&nbsp;News</a> |&nbsp;<a href="http://curztech.com/news/conspiracy.shtml">CurzTech&nbsp;Conspiracy&nbsp;News</a> |&nbsp;<a href="http://curztech.com/news/offsitenews_prev.shtml">Yesterday's News</a> |&nbsp;<a href="http://curztech.com/news/offsite_archive.shtml">Offsite Archive</a></small>
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     <tt>
      <p>September 4, 2002</p>
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       CurzTech Conspiracy Investigative Unit today released a preliminary report on the state of conspiracies in the world.<br><br>A spokesman commented on the report, saying that there were no conspiracies, there never have been any conspiracies, and the number of conspiracies would most likely not rise in the coming year.<br><br>When asked how there could be no conspiracies, when it was obvious that this whole news organization was part of a worldwide conglomerate, the spokesman turned into a giant eel and tried to eat this reporter&#39;s nostrils.<br><br>Shares of CurzTech Conspiracy Labs continued to conspire to a price of $54.03 on news of the report.
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