CurzTech News Network
CurzTech News Network | CurzTech World News | CurzTech U.S. News | CurzTech Entertainment News | CurzTech Political News | CurzTech Conspiracy News | Yesterday's News | Offsite Archive
September 3, 2002
CurzTech Political News announced today it would begin accepting kickbacks in exchange for favorable endorsements for the upcoming Curzonian National Election.
Analysts with a competing news organization commented that most politicians would pass on this opportunity because the Curzonian National Elections usually have "pre-determined" results, rendering any endorsements "crap".
When asked if this was their way of claiming that the CNE was fixed, the Analyst made a comment refering to the Pope's ethnicity.
CurzTech National Election officials denied reports that the elections were "pre-determined", stating that the people elected were the right ones for the job, and therefore must have been the ones the people themselves picked. When asked about the 1937 election, in which a flower pot named "Hank" was elected, the official had no comment.
When asked why it took the Curzonian Congressional Rulers two weeks to remove "Hank" from his elected post as Viceroy for Public and International Affairs and Dishwashing, the official stated, "Hank worked very hard to be elected. Being a flower pot did not make that election any easier. We wanted to make sure the public knew the implications of removing an elected official from office before we took any drastic action."
"Hank", who later went on to write an autobiographical novel regarding the situation, which was itself turned into the hit Off-Broadway Play, "But He's A Flower Pot!", was later burned at the stake for crimes against potting soil.
A representative for Hank's estate had no comment.