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August 20, 2002
Thec Curzonian Military Complex today confirmed reports that it was going to a higher state of readiness in response to an incident involving a halted launching of one of their ICBM's.
The Commanding officer of the Curzonian Military Defense Force, Herbert, refused to elaborate, but did confirm that someone was able to navigate into the military intranet and activate the launch sequence for a CT-40 InterCat Ballistic Missile-like Missile. He also confirmed that the launch was stopped when an alert watchman woke up to realize the missile was launching.
When asked about security procedures regarding the launch process, the General refused to comment on speculation that the ICBMM's are actually large tree branches with firecrackers taped to the ends. The General further refused to answer allegations that the price of such a "missile" would be far under the cost reported in the Defense budget, and that the commander of the Missile Defense Division has in fact just bought himself a new island off the coast of Australia.
A specialist with the CurzTech Missile Defense force, speaking anonomously, confirmed rumors that the "hacking" incident was in reality a cat chewing on a nearby power cable, which shorted out and threw sparks, igniting the fuse on the "missile", thus begining the "launch process." He also confirmed that the launch process was halted by "pulling out the fuse."
The name of this anonymous source was discovered before press time and shot for mouthing off to his boss.