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CurzTech Industries


CurzTech Chemicals | CurzTech Aviation and Engineering | CurzTech Construction | CurzTech Pharmecueticals | CurzTech Automotive

Most consumer advocate groups claim that our Luxury car line is just our normal cars with fake leather seats. That's mostly not true. Our Luxury line is handmade in small third-world countries by people who are happy with the 5 cents a week that they make. Hey, we didn't make the laws in that country, but we'll sure abide by them. The Newest model from CurzFjord's Luxury line, the Snaab, is guarenteed to make everyone stop and look at your car and say, "boy, I wish I were rich and important enough to own a car like that. That must be the happiest person in the world." Of course we all know that you don't have to be happy to own one of these, just rich. Our comfortable "leather" seats and rich "wood" paneling will have you immersed in luxury in no time. And, for a limited time (until the plant is closed again by human rights activists) all CurzFjord Luxury Cars will come with the following standard features:

  • Four wheels

  • Exclusive Boze 13 speaker stereo system with 8-Track player, none of that low end "Klarion" krap for our customers

  • Not one, but two driver side airbags (we had to take out the passenger airbag, but we wanted to make sure the driver was safe enough to want to buy another car from us)

  • Exclusive CurzTech CarTrack System which allows anyone with your 2 digit code (over 99 codes are possible) to track you

  • State-of-the-art CurzTech Car Alarm System - requires 5 year lease agreement with CurzTech Home Security Supply Company

  • Ultra-sleek CurzRoof - this time it's almost guanrenteed* not to accidentally close on your hand while you're trying to get it unstuck in the rain

  • New CurzTech Braking System - designed to make sure you stop when you need it, guaranteed*

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    Subject CurzFjord Luxury
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    * not a guarantee

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