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CurzTech Industries


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Here at CurzTech we believe in getting back to nature the rough, do-it-yourself-unless-you-can't-and-then-hire-someone-else-to-do-it-for-you way. That's why each of our CurzFjord Off-Road Vehiclese are made specifically for driving on city streets only. That's right, you may get stuck if you go through less than an inch of mud even though you have the exclusive CurzTrac Traction System, but if anyone hits your vehicle in an accident, you know you'll be going home without the body bag. Because we designed this vehicle to withstand any type of road rage type hit, whether it's getting run over by your 3-inch steel bumper, or slamming into your door and getting stuck on the spikes we've secretly implanted there. Either way, if anyone messes with you, watch out!

Each Off-Road vehicle comes standard with the following features:

  • Front and rear drum brakes, so you don't have to waste your precious money paying to fix the "safer" anti-lock brakes. Sure, you'll take longer to stop, but your going to hit them anyway since you're probably talking on a cell phone (included with the car), so why not make them go out with a bang?

  • CurzTech AutoJect - For those bad accidents when you can't get out of the car under your own power, now, you don't have to worry! Just pull the patented CurzSwitch, and away you go*!

  • "Leather" Seats - Because you're not actually thinking of taking it anywhere you'd get dirty, so you won't have to worry about how difficult mud would be to get out. Besides, it's not realy leather anyway, and the first drop of water you get on it will void the warrenty and...never mind.

  • Exclusive Klarion 27-speaker Sound System - featuring the new 8-track player, a 4-fold improvement over that lowly 2-track cassette, and who uses those CD's anyway?

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    *The CurzSwitch is not guarenteed to work the first time, but pulling more than once voids the warrenty and absolves CurzTech Automotive, it's parent company CurzTech Industries, and their parent company CurzTech International, from all responsibility. Any concerns should be sent to us here.

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